Miscellaneous Musings by FunGirlDi

What You Don’t Know Won’t Hurt You…

I gave up Facebook for Lent. I was searching for something to offer up and perhaps relinquish its hold on me. Even though sugar is high on my list, I realized that something bigger had a hold on me – more so than the white stuff that sits in a covered pottery bowl in my kitchen cabinet.

Every Sunday morning, I get a notification on my iPhone about how many hours a week I spend on my phone. It flashes on my screen as I am getting ready to go to Sunday Mass. I started paying attention to the average number of hours per day I was interacting with this 3 x 5 electronic device, and it began to gnaw at me.

As Lent was approaching, I started thinking of what I could give up. At first, I thought about Facebook, but quickly dismissed that thought. I like Facebook, I like seeing what others are doing, I get inspired by memes and I was entertained by jokes and videos while scrolling.

I draw inspiration from songs, and I heard a song from 1959 by James Cleveland a few weeks back. It is, “Something’s Got a Hold of Me.” James was singing about falling in love, but I was thinking past his reference and looking at my life.

Over the years, I have seen people post about their surrendering of coffee or chocolate for Lent and I wasn’t one bit interested in joining in with them. I brushed it off that my faith wasn’t as strong as theirs nor did I have the desire to give up something I enjoyed.

As I have written, I have returned to my Catholic faith, and I now understand the whys behind giving up a loved item during the most holy time of the year. As I studied more about Lent, it began to sink in that I needed to do something bigger. Whatever I choose, it would have to make an impact in my life.

One night I had a dream I was back in high school, and I had to hand over my phone to my teacher. I was on the device so much that it was interfering with getting my work accomplished. When I woke up, I realized that was my subconscious directing me.

I made the final decision on the Sunday morning before Ash Wednesday when I looked at the screentime notification and I was shocked that the past week I had spent an AVERAGE of 7.5 hours per day on my phone. I pay bills on my phone, read my email, read the news, watch the weather, and communicate with my family and friends, but this high number startled me into submission. There was no justifying that number and I knew it was up to me to change it.

Before I went to bed on the evening before Ash Wednesday, I wrote a post on Facebook to alert the troops of my decision to step back from Facebook for the 40 days of Lent. I wrote, “Giving up Facebook for Lent. This won’t be easy. That’s why I’m doing it.”

The next morning, I was curious as to what people may have written about my post, but I held on tight to my conviction and have not gone on the platform at all.

Two weeks have passed, and I can say I am a recovering Facebookaholic. I joined Facebook on September 8, 2008. It has been 15½ years and I cringe at the amount of time I have wasted over the years. Oh, sure it has been great to reconnect with friends and it certainly is a great aid in reaching classmates for reunions, however, I now realize how much time I spent, and I can never get it back.

I have wasted a lot of energy on people I really don’t care for, and I know they don’t care about me either. Facebook is a thing that has eroded my productivity and only when you admit you have a problem can you do something to change it.

It was so easy to grab my phone, sit on the couch and unendingly scroll through all the posts, videos, and now oodles and oodles of ads. Many times, I would obligingly Like or Love someone’s posts because I thought I needed to. Then I would see someone else make a comment and I would think I had to do that, too. These were unending exercises in futility.

Recently, I was in the Twin Cities and stopped in a restaurant to grab a cup of coffee. I saw four young women seated at a table – all on their phones. Since they got my coffee order wrong, I had to wait an additional five minutes for them to remake my order, so I moved out of the way, but continued watching these women. For the 10 minutes I was waiting, they didn’t speak to each other – at all! They laughed out loud to whatever they were reading or watching on their devices and never bothered to even share their delight with those at the same table.

I know I have done this with my family. My phone dings and I pick it up as if it was a life-ordeath situation. These little devices whisk us away from the most important thing in our lives – our loved ones. Once again, we will never get those moments back.

It has become visible that communication skills among the young are definitely affected. Many young adults start their sentences with, “I mean,” or “It’s like.” Don’t believe me? Just tune into a reality show for a few minutes and you will hear this. Jokes are lost on the young because of the constant accusations that any humor is racist, homophobic, or offensive. Since the influx of cellphones, the majority of communication between many people seem to happen only through text, images or videos and is barren when compared to rich and complex face-to-face conversations.

It is no fallacy that Facebook feeds us a lot of useless information and is the worst perpetrator of fake news in the world. As users, we are becoming more vulnerable each day to false stories. Fake news posts are abundant no matter what side of the aisle of the political auditorium you choose. Facebook has sequestered many who post their opinion or a political view. As Americans, we should all be enraged that this type of censoring is happening. Freedom of speech is being squelched and that is a mammoth concern for all of us.

A sad casualty are lifelong friendships that have ended because of arguments over posts on social media. Disagreements erupted publicly and the words exchanged are forever on record.

Whether we believe it or not, the news we get from Facebook is specifically created to change beliefs and behaviors of us. At first, some of the posts may seem harmless, but they have been huge in helping users form opinions on national matters such as elections.

I will admit in front of God and whoever is reading this that I am nosy. I like to see what others are doing. I have talents in different areas, and I have posted about what I have done – in a sense, bragging. That confession makes me roll my eyes at myself. My parents used to talk to us about humility and evidently, I didn’t listen very closely.

My father used to tell us that, “Nosy people don’t live long,” which I didn’t understand. When I was about 11 years old, I asked him to explain. He said, “If you are so busy watching someone else cross the road, you are not paying attention that a truck is headed right for you.” Okay, dad… It’s been two weeks since I have been social media free, and my productivity has skyrocketed. I read a book cover to cover, which is something I haven’t done in over 20 years. I would say I liked to read, but I didn’t have the time to do it.

I have been in my house almost three years and still had unpacked boxes in the basement. I have been unpacking them and found items I was missing. I set up my office in the basement and a cute little corner for my grandbabies to play with all the toys that have been packed away and unused since I moved here. I set up tables with grow lights, heaters and a watering station and planted the first seeds for my garden this spring. I can say I’m on the verge of giddiness with all the projects I am tackling.

The reason behind this “recovery” I chose is mostly a religious one. I closed the Facebook door, which was something that interfered with everything in my life. There is an old saying that when one door closes, God opens a window. I am finding this out to be true except it isn’t a window, rather it is a large garage door. The best part is my faith has become my sidekick and I will no longer ride without it.

I can’t bash Facebook completely as there is a time and place for everything. This platform has connected people with long lost friends and family. It is an invaluable tool when trying to reach people or pull an event together. Everything in moderation is okay – it’s the overuse that I personally discovered is harmful.

I decided to take the extra time I was spending on my phone and put the energy toward becoming a better version of myself. One thing I am not missing is the bombarding of information that has absolutely no effect on my life whatsoever. My dad told us kids many times over, “What you don’t know won’t hurt you.”

Dad, how right you are again.